Mission Denied
by Forever01n02
Summary: A mission has come up, all but Quatre are needed. What will happen to Quatre while their gone? Warning, Rape, Quatre abuse, 3/4, 1/2. And the rape is past, like thinking about it, ya know.... And it's recent past too! I know what their real past's are
1. Mission: Denied Part One

Mission Denied Mission: Denied   
Katya E. M.   


Quatre lightly tapped on Wufei's door letting him know breakfast was ready. Then he carefully opened Duo's door; stepped inside a tapped Duo's shoulder until he awoke.   
"Duo. It's time for breakfast" Quatre whispered.   
"Really?!! FOOOOOOOD!!!!!!" Duo was certainly awake now... And so was everyone else...   
Quatre slowly made his way down to the kitchen... as did everyone else... except Duo... raced down the stairs and the hallways and a few doors... but right as Wufei came to enter the room everyone heard him scream and then start to curse in Chinese. Quatre went out to see what had happened. Apparently when Duo was rampaging into the kitchen, he knocked the doorknob off the door... which Wufei stepped on.   
"Are you OK Wufei? Do you want me to call Sally?"   
Just at the hearing here name Wufei's face turned white, "Hehehe *nerves laughter* hehe no hehe that's OK hehe..." Wufei said as he slowly backed away back to his room.   
Quatre however pulled him back into the kitchen so he wouldn't starve to death. "C'mon Wufei! All you ever have for breakfast is a bowl of rice! And that's if I'm lucky! And If I'm Really lucky, I might get you to have a cup of coffee with it!" Quatre said matter-of-factly and sarcastically at the same time.   
"And what about you Quatre? You fill your plate a mile high!" Trowa looked Quatre straight in the eyes... eye?   
"Well at least I eat!" Quatre came to sit down, followed by Wufei... with a very small bowl of rice... Duo was inhaling his food... or what was left of it... Trowa just kept sipping on his coffee... Wufei looked at his rice as if it were possessed or something. Quatre eat his food happily, and as Heero drank his coffee he watched Duo engulf his food. Not aware that Wufei had noticed.   
"Hey Heero?" Wufei said with a smile. "See something you like on Duo's plate or just Duo?"   
Duo had apparently heard the comment and immediately started choking on his food. Quatre came over to help him dislodge the food. There was a slight blush on Heero's face as Wufei looked straight at him, apparently still waiting for an answer.   
"Uh.... Omae O Korosu!" Heero gave Wufei one of his famous 'Heero Yuy death glares' TM   
"Shouldn't you be looking at Duo and shouldn't you have said, Omae O Kisu?!"(1) Wufei grinned.   
Duo's face turned bright red, and if possible, his eye's became even wider. Duo didn't understand, why was Wufei being so mean to Heero?   
"Wufei? Why are you acting like this, is something the matter?" Duo questioned.   
"Huh, well... because of you, because of you my foot was almost broken!" Wufei growled. "It was Injustice for you to do such a thing to me! In the holy name of Nataku, may god have mercy on your sole!"   
(TBC)   



	2. Mission: Denied Part Two

Part 2 Mission: Denied   
Part 2   
Katya E. M.   


"Well Geeze Wufei, you should really watch where you're going. And it's not *my* fault I was hungry. You can blame Heero for *that*!" Dou said, with a grin.   
There was a slight shade of pink covering Heero's face as Wufei looked at him for answers. Heero stood up, knocking his chair down in the process, walked to Dou, slapped the back of his head, then walked out of the room. *Blink Blink* "Was it something I said?" Duo questioned.   
*Sweat drop!!!* "Duo maybe after you apologies to Heero and Wufei you should go get ready for the new mission." Quatre's advise startled everyone.   
"There's a new mission? When, what are we doing? Who's going?" Wufei almost screamed.   
"You mean Heero didn't tell you?" Three blank stares answered that. "Well, everyone but me has to go, and if I remember right, all you have to do is get some info, save this guy they have under interrogation, and blow the base up. That's it!" Quatre ended the sentence with a clearly forced smile.   
"Geeze you make it sound so easy!" Duo muttered.   
"Quatre, can I talk to you alone?" Trowa asked the Arab.   
"Huh? Sure Trowa." Quatre smiled.   
Once alone, Trowa turned to Quatre.   
"Quatre, what the matter? Is there something bothering you? You seem distracted, or unhappy or something."   
"It's nothing! really!" Quatre forced another smile onto his face.   
Although normally one of Quatre's angelic smiles would make all Trowa's fears disappear, this time it didn't. "Quatre, I can see right through that fake smile of yours! Why don't you just stop pretending nothings wrong and tell me what's that matter?" Trowa raised his voice as he pushed Quatre against the wall.   
Quatre's eye's widened and he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.   
"You can trust me Quatre! You know I would never tell anyone! Remember who you're talking to?! Do I even express my feelings that much anyway?! Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? If you tell me you'll fell better and I could help you! Quatre please." Quatre had never seen Trowa beg before.   
A single tear streaked down Trowa's cheek. //He's crying! Did I make him cry? Was it me? Oh god, what have I done?//   
A shaky hand came up to Trowa's cheek and gently brushed away the lone tear. "Don't cry. I'll tell you Trowa, just not now, I'm not ready. Not now..." Another forced smile appeared on his face. But instead of Trowa getting angry at the clearly forced smile, he smiled back. "All right, little one, just don't let it get to you. I don't want you hurting you're self just because of some pent-up feelings, okay?"   
"'k" But this time, Trowa was graced with a true smile from his angel, a smile filled with sorrow and happiness put together.   
  
  



	3. Mission: Denied Part Three

Mission Denied Part 3

Mission Denied   
Part 3   
Katya E. M.__

_Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters._

  


Trowa, Wufei, Heero, and Duo left on their new mission that afternoon, leaving Quatre's to just think. Think about the present, the future, the past. But right now, the past wasn't something he really felt like thinking about. But it seemed no matter how hard Quatre tried not to think about the past he couldn't. 

He decided he would try reading a book to clear his mind. But when he started reading, it seemed as if he still couldn't concentrate. The words on the paper seemed to blur swirl on the page. 

"Little one, are you ready to answer my question yet?" A voice Quatre would rather forget whispered into his head. //NO! I do not want to think about that! About him! If only Trowa had been there! He would have protected me..... Why am I so weak?... Why couldn't I just hold my ground? Why couldn't I just stand up to him? Why did I let him do that?!// 

"Trowa.... I know you want to help me.... But I'm scared...." Quatre whimpered as he hugged a pillow to his chest as he curled into a small ball on the couch. 

*Ring! Ring!* 

//The phone's ringing.....// Quatre idly thought to himself. But he didn't get up to get it. He let the answering machine get it. 

"Hello, you have reached Winner estate 147, Either there's no one here at this time or we're not able to come to the phone right now, please leave your name, number, and message after the beep. Thank you and goodbye." It was Quatre who had recorded the message, it was a little odd to hear you own voice coming out of the machine. *beeeeep* 

"Hi, Quatre! It's me Duo! I'm callin' from Deathsyth.... I guess your in the shower or outside or something.... Well, I'm just waitin' for Heero, Trowa, and Wufei to finish in there. I'm stuck being the look out.... Lucky me!" Duo's rants brought a small smile to Quatre's face. "Wha?... Oh, sorry Quatre, I gotta go, Heero and the others are here. Time to go boom boom! *evil laughter* Uhhhhh.... Heero? you okay?" Quatre heard Duo say before the line clicked off. 

Quatre sat there, thinking of what exactly they were doing. His thoughts lingered on Trowa before he fell into the sub-consciousness of his mind to let his body rest. But he found he didn't like what awaited him in his sleep. 

***** 

A door opened to a dark cold small room, blinding light poured over a small figure curled into a small ball. Three men stood in the doorway. 

"So, Little one, Are you ready to answer my questions yet?" The tallest of the three men asked. 

The small figure just sat there. 

"Well? Are you going to say anything or do I have to force it out of you?! Either way, I win." If the figure had looked up he would have seen the predatory like smile that spread on the mans face when no response came. "Alright then..." 

The man motion to the two men. One walked out and left, going to do who knows what, the other stepped out of the room, closing the door almost completely, playing look-out. 

"So, I see I'll have to force answers out of you. That's fine with me." The man pulled the figure up to stand on his feet. By doing so the figure was reviled to be a small delicate looking boy with golden blond hair and sky blue eyes. It was hard to believe he could be a gundam pilot. He had cuts and burses all over his body from the men beating him, trying to get answers out of him. Then suddenly, the man through him against the wall, and smiled when he received a small whimper, almost unheard. 

Then the man bent down on his knees and grabbed Quatre by his hair and pulled him to his face and pressing his lips to his as hard as he could. Quatre started struggling as best he could with his beat up body. The man force his tongue into Quatre's mouth, making him struggle more. 

"Quatre.... Quatre...." He heard his name being called, but the man's lips weren't moving.... Who was calling him?.... suddenly, all his surroundings went black then turned a blinding shade of white. 

Quatre's eyes flitted open only to look up into emerald eyes that were full of worry and concern. "Quatre..." There was distinct relief in Trowa's voice as he said Quatre's name. "You were having a nightmare.... Duo and the others will be here soon, they were looking over the damage of their gundams.... there were some mobile dolls waiting for us out side the base...." 

It took a while before Trowa's words actually sunk into Quatre's head, and he realized he was staring at Trowa once the haze of sleep finally wore off his mind. "Is everyone allright?" Quatre asked worried. 

"Everyone's fine... Well, Duo got a nasty looking cut on his arm, but Heero cleaned it up. What were you dreaming about? It seemed bad, you were screaming and thrashing in your sleep...." Trowa asked, worry once again apparent in his voice. 

"Oh, don't worry about it, it was nothing...." Quatre put a reassuring smile on his face. 

"Well, we're going to go out and get some take-out for dinner, would you like to come with us, you obviously haven't eaten, you've been sleeping." 

"Sure."   
  


_Note: So, did you like it? I'll write the whole rape seem soon! Don't worry! I wrote this up in a hurry so I hope it doesn't seem too rushed... Well, please review, and if you have any idea's on what should happen I'll be happy to take suggestions! I just make this stuff up as I go ya know? Stupid teachers! Don't they know anything?! "You have to make a plan for every story you write Katya!" "Where's your plan Katya? You forget stuff when you just write it out Katya." NO YOU DON'T!!! That's why you MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO!!!!!!!!! stupid teachers.... Oops.... I was ranting again wasn't I? sorry... Well, please review.... ^.^;;___

_Katya E. M._   



	4. part 4

Mission Denied part 04 Okay, I'll tell all you people why I don't up-date these older stories as often, I really don't like the writing style I used. I prefer first person, instead of third. I can't remember what my 6th grade teacher said second person was, so I can't exactly do that one.... But anyway, this doesn't mean I'm going to drop them , I'll finish them. I think this one only has like two or three more chapters. I'm thinking of re-writing it in first person, what do you think? But if and when I decide to do that, I'll finish this one in this format and if I take it down on ff.net it will still be on my site, so don't worry!   


~*~*~*~*~   
  


Once they came back to the safe-house from dinner, Quatre went strait to his room. This worried Trowa a little, but he didn't say anything.   
  


Once Quatre had closed the door and locked it he almost immediately dove for his pillow. When he reached it he pulled out a small sack about 7" long. He pulled a small dagger out of it, he just stared for a moment before rolling up his sleeves.   
  


"I deserve this.... I act like I'm everything important and really if people knew what I was really like, they'd want to burned.... I'll save them the time of wasting it on me......"   
  


And with that Quatre Slashed at his wrists mercesally and when he finally stopped he just sat there watching the blood flow off his arms onto his pillow. Faintly he'd heard a pounding on the door. 'I must have been crying....' the thought floated lightly in Quatre's head as he lost consciousness.   
  


~*~*~*~*~   
  


"Did it seem like there was somin up with Quat to any of you guys too?" Duo asked after Quatre had ran up the stairs.   
  


"Yeah, did something happen to Winner? Did his sister or father say anything to him when we were gone?" Wufei seemed genuinely concerned for the little blond pilot.   
  


"Yes, he seems very upset, but it's not just today, it was on that solo mission, he started acting different then." Trowa's only emotion he let show, and probably unwillingly, was worry.   
  


"Maybe someone should go check on him..." And with Duo's comment said Trowa dashed up the stairs.   
  


As Trowa got closer to Quatre's door he hear small whimpers, and some kind of dripping noise. Dread started to fill Trowa. He knocked on Quatre's door, "Quatre, are you all right?" There was no answer. Trowa tried to open the door, it was locked. He started to beat on the door frantically, "Quatre open this door now!" Then he heard a faint whisper through his pounding, though he didn't he what was said, he heard a light thump, he started to kick the door. In less then a minuet Trowa had knocked the door down.   
  


And by now the others had come up from the sound of Trowa pounding on the door. The sight that greeted them was one that would forever be etched into all their minds.   
  


Quatre lay sprawled in a puddle of red liquid face down on his bed, one arm under him, the other off the side of the bed, clinging lightly to a small dagger, droplets of blood spilling out off gashes on his arm, dripping down the dagger to make a small splash in a small pulled on the floor.   
  


"Oh god.... Quatre..." Duo fell to his knees, Heero holding him close as he started to cry into his chest. Wufei ran to a bathroom to get bandages, and Trowa ran up to Quatre, turning him over onto his back. Blood covered his face as Tears started to roll down Trowa's face.   
  


Wufei returned fairly quick. He had bandages in one hand, a cloth and a small bowl of warm water in the other hand. he gave them to Trowa and picked up the phone.   
  


He dialed as fast as he could without hitting the wrong number. "Hello, Sally?"   
  


TBC   
  


Sorry, I know that was a slight cliffhanger, and it was very short, so please don't thwap me!! I promise I'll try to have the rest out soon! really! Oh, and don't worry, I would never kill my sweet Quatre!   
  



	5. part 5

Mission: Denied Part 5 

Author: Katya E. M.   
  


Trowa sat numbly as he waited in the hall outside of the E.R. Heero, Duo, and Wufei were there too, but Trowa hardly noticed. He was too concerned with Quatre's well-being, whether he'd be alright or not. And what really bothered him was that he couldn't figure out what would cause Quatre to take such drastic measures.   
  


Those thoughts circled Trowa's head as he stared intently at the glowing sign reading E.R., as if it held all the answers to the world. They'd been here all of ten minuets, but it had seemed so much longer, to all of them. A few minuets later a young female doctor walked out of the E.R., the sign still glowing.   
  


"Excuse me, would any of you be willing to give blood to the young man if you are able?" Everyone had nodded without a second thought, "Well, then would you like to tell me your blood types?"   
  


"I'm blood type B+, Duo's O, Wufei's A-, and Trowa's O."   
  


"Well, your friend is AB-, so either you," she pointed at Duo, "Or you," Then Trowa, "are going to be able to give blood to him."   
  


Duo and Trowa's eyes met for a brief moment before Trowa stood up and Duo snuggled closer to Heero."   
  


The doctor smiled and led Trowa into the room. "Please lay down right here, we'll hook you up to the machine in a moment." Trowa laid down on the bed and tried to relax, it's not that he was nervous, just that he was so angry at himself for letting Quatre feel as though he had to do something to hurt himself so much.   
  


He had immediately laid eyes on Quatre when he walked into the room. His skin was quite a few shades paler, you could see some of his veins through his skin, like you can on elder people. He was still asleep, but he seemed so small, weak, and scared. Surrounded completely by white, a thin white blanket covering him. Pure white bandages covered his arms from the elbow down to his wrist, self-hatred and anger was quickly filling Trowa up.   
  


He didn't even notice what was going on around him until he felt the small prick of the needle. It was an odd feeling, having a needle pocking out of your arm. He had to hold in a gasp as there was an unnatural blood flow in his arm. Sure, he'd had blood taken before, but no matter how many time it happened, he would never get over the strange sensation.   
  


~*~*~*~*~   
  


The nurse Finally said that that was all the blood he could healthily give and un-hook the machine. He could've protested but she'd also said that it would be fine now to transport Quatre into a normal room.   
  


The others were glad that now Trowa had finally come out, be even more so that now Quatre was being moved and they could see their friend.   
  


"Excuse me doctor?" Duo's voice was very weak for once, "Wouldn't it be fine if we took him into the care of a doctor out of the hospital? He's an empath and I don't think a hospital would be the best place for him."   
  


"And who do you have in mind? They will have to be capable enough to pass my test."   
  


"Sally Po" Heero answered for him.   
  


"Oh? You know Sally? We went to collage together! I wouldn't mind that at all! But I would want to come visit to make sure everything is fine. And of course Sally would have to sign the official papers...."   
  


The doctor babbled on and on, all the gundam pilots were reminded off Relena for some reason.   
  


"Does this really matter to us?" Duo whispered into Heero's ear.   
  


Instead Wufei answered, "The stupid Onna thinks in does."   
  


"Doctor?" Trowa looked almost a annoyed as Wufei, "Sally really isn't the most important thing right now, so either you shut-up and let us call sally, or go out in the hall and we'll call sally."   
  


The doctor looked as though she'd just been slapped, she silently sat down in a chair. Duo wanted to smile, like he always did in hard times, but even he knew that this was anything but the time or place.   
  


Trowa, being given the quiet he needed, called Sally.   
  


~*~*~*~*~   
(Two weeks later, Trowa's P.O.V.)   
  


So here I am, sitting in a chair next to the bed Quatre was laying in. We were in one of the many safe-houses we were able to use thanks to Quatre. It wasn't very big, three bedrooms, one being the master bedroom, actually, it seemed more like a perfectly normal average house. Well, depending on where you live. There was about 20 Acers around the house, but it was still nice, if anything, that made it better. Quatre liked the houses that were like small cottages found in the center of a forest.   
  


Anyway, Quatre'd been moved from the hospital into Sally's care about a week and a half ago. It had taken a while for Sally to get there, and she didn't have a fax machine near her. It's funny, in the past we always tried to advance our past inventions, and now we just try to keep all these millennia old ones.   
  


But there I go babbling again. Did I say? Before we'd left the hospital they'd said Quatre'd fallen into a coma. Apparently he had no will to live, so we've surrounded him with everything he loves. There's a CD playing softly, it's one of his favorite classical music CD's. We're hoping that something will trigger in Quatre's subconscious, binging his conscious back.   
  


There was a knock at the door, Duo walked in with a tray of food. There was a bowl of broth and a sandwich. I never left Quatre's side, incase he woke up, I didn't want him to be alone. Duo started bring me food too when he brought Quatre's. But it's hard to keep food down when you think you caused the one you love so much pain. I started to eat my sandwich with my one free hand after Duo had left and I'd fed Quatre his broth, my other hand was tightly clasped around Quatre's.   
  


I couldn't finish it, I had just started eating the second half when I started to feel sick. Isn't funny how you think you can finish that last little bit, and the you take one bite and realize you can't, after you've ruined it? Anyway, I pushed the feeling away, not wanting to get up to go to the bathroom, not wanting to leave Quatre's side. I would wait until I gave Quatre his bath for the day.   
  


I hopped that one day soon Quatre would wake up so I could ask what I did to hurt him so. And unfortunately that was all I could do, wait, pray, and hope.   
  


TBC   
End part 5   
  


OKay, I hope you all like it so far, from begining to end. well not end yet.... But anyway, I'm really sorry for the long waits I always have with my updates, and god only knows how long it's been since I opened my school dance folder..... But if anyone has noticed, the first chapter is really happy and light and makes it seem nice. And then everything went dark...... Well there's a reason for that ^^;; You see, when I first wrote part one, I had planned that I would start before the mission that turned Quatre's life around, but then come chapter two I didn't like that anymore, so I just made it a past recent event. So I really hope that you all like this soo far and that that wasn't too obviose! 

Ja, Katya^.~ 


	6. Part 6

Thank you all so much for waiting for this chapter so long! 

kattie- no, not really. backlash- not really soon, but there is more. lordbob- not then but this is the last chapter! Alex . . . I don't like you . . . Yamatoluv7 - thanks, that's nice. keemew2 - I'd like to make the chapters longer but I started such a long time ago and I was so immature, it's a short story, and if I didn't break it down into 6 parts then it would have been a one shot, and that means less reviews, ya know? Jay Kamiya- thanks. soulsister- don't worry I love Quatre and Trowa too! Masumi- to good? starbunny2019- I love Quatre too and I'd never kill him, don't worry. Death's angel- . . . ummm, female . . . Duo . . . What can I say, umm thanks for the review? Keep reading? . . .   


Title: Mission denied 6/6 

Authoer: Katya E. M 

Note: Okay, I am so sorry it took so long to write this but I just wasn't thinking about my ficcies, It was more like I wanna read this and this and this and this . . . . But now I remembered and here goes . . . something?   
  
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_It's dark here. I like it, no one can hurt me . . ._   
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_I'm all alone, so alone. If I screamed for hours on end no one would come for me, no one would care . . . no one would hear me._   
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_ . . . . not even Trowa . . . my Trowa. . . ._   
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_But it doesn't matter anyway, if he ever found out about . .. about what happened he would hate me, And I'd die. That is, if I'm not already dead._   
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_No, I can't be dead, I hurt too much. It makes you think ya know, when you're so confused and sad you just want to kill yourself. But then you think, what if when I die I don't go to heaven or hell? What if I'm stuck in this world, just in a plain where no one sees me?_   
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_You always say, I don't believe in heaven and hell. But when you want to die, you wish they did exist. Ya know, that way you could shoot yourself without second thoughts of the after life. You realize why all those people out there lock themselves up in those little dreams and say they believe in god and they believe that when they die thier going to go to heaven, because god loves them and forgives all sins._   
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_But if god forgives all sins, why is there a hell?_   
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_If god forgives all sins, does that mean the man who raped me will go to heaven?_   
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_Did Hitler go to heaven? He was a man, and he did so many wrongs, and he died. Did he go to heaven?_   
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_I don't think I want to go to heaven anymore. But I still don't want to go to hell. And I really don't want to be stuck in life and be dead. Can't I just disappear? That's what I really want, to disappear._   
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_You'd think that thinking about you're troubles would help you understand them better and help you get over them. Well, now that I understand, I'm even more miserable._   
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_But I have to think, if I died, and later Trowa died, would I ever see him again?_   
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_I don't think I like thinking._   
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_But I have to, I'm a gundam pilot. Although if I were to die, would it have any impact on the war what so ever? Would Trowa care? I would think that Trowa would be devastated by my death, but if that were the truth, wouldn't he have tried to help me in life? Helped me when I was feeling down?_   
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_No, wait. I think he did notice, and I was the one who didn't notice. Maybe he was trying to help me and I was ignoring him. No, I don't think so. I think he was waiting for the right moment and he waited too long. Or the right moment never came._   
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_Ya know like when you and your wife/husband are ina car dirving down a country dirt road and you saw a sing that said clif ahead. And you think to yourself, great a clif! We can stnad in front of it and take pictures. It never acurded to you that the road would end at the edge of a clif. And you and you're wife/husband just keep on driving becuase you think it's a steep down hill._   
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_And in that aspect I suppose you'd be right. It was a very steep down hill, and becuase you never thought to say anything about that sing, you waited too long for the wrong thing,._   
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_Cant you just imagin the looks on thier faces?_   
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_What would Trowa look like in that instance?_   
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_Trowa . . . No, Trowa is smart enough to know a clif when he see's one. So then why didn't he stop me from jumping?_   
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_Trowa . . . I want to see you again . . . But my eye's feel so heavy. It's like I cant move anything, But I can feel everything._   
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_Are you the one holding my hand? Or am I? No I think my other hand is empty . . . If I wake up and it's not you, Trowa, I'll close my eyes and never open them again . . ._   
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~*~*~*~*~   
  


"C'mon Trowa, he's not gonna wake up yet, lets get you something to eat." I never took my eye's off of Quatre to look at Duo, I didn't need to to know that he had a worried half smile on his face, it was obviose enough in his tone.   
  


"No, I want to stay here." My voice seemed hallow and dead, even to me. Maybe without Quatre I'm dead. If you die Quatre, I'm going to shoot a bullet down my mouth. I promise you, you won't be alone Quatre.   
  


"Trowa, you need to eat, how about you just come down the hall, to the snack machine? You won't be too far away and you can come right back, Quatre won't wake up I promise!" This time I did turn around to look at Duo. For once he wasn't wearing a smile.   
  


Well, no, he doesn't smile all the tuime I suppose, only when there's no noise or when people are down. I think maybe the silence unnerves him. . . .   
  


I thought the odds of Quatre waking up while I walkewd down the hall to get a snack and a drink, what would it take, 2, 3 minuets? He probably wouldn't wake up . . . but if he did . . . I'll never forgive Duo if he does, that's all.   
  


I nodded, stand up, giving Quatre's hand a quick kiss before walking out of the room.   
  


~*~*~*~*~   
  


_Trowa? Trowa why did you leave? I don't feel you're hand anymore . . . Trowa? Do you not care about me?_   
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_I love you Trowa! I can't live *or* die without you! Please! Trowa! Come back . . . . come back . . . .(1)_   
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~*~*~*~*~   
  


Quatre slowly opened his eyes, then, realizing that the light was far too bright in the room for his eyes he quickly shut them.   
  


Listening to the sounds around him Quatre praid he'd hear Trowa's voice.   
  


But he only heard the random nurse or docter walk down the hall, the steady beat of his heart monitor. the drip of his Iv made a small noice, very quiet . . . But still there. But there was no Trowa, anywhere to be heard int he room.   
  


Then, Quatre heard a loud familar voice.   
  


"See Tro! He's still sleeping like a baby! And now you have food!" Duo . . .   
  


"Yes, but why did I have to leave Quatre, he could have woken up, you could have easily gotten this food for me." Trowa! Trowa's still here for me! He still cares!   
  


Trowa took Quatre's hand in his own once again, waiting and praying for Quatre to wake up.   
  


But I still can't tell him what happened, can I?   
  


"You came back." Quatre voice sounded rough and dry, but still held all of his emotion.   
  


Trowa's hand tensed then there was what sounded like a delighted 'eep'. "Quatre! Quatre you woke up! Thank the stars!"   
  


Smiling Quatre began to talk again, still not daring to open his eyes. "Trowa, I was scared. Scared that you'd left. I couldn't feel you're hand anymore and I opened my eyes and it's so bright! But then you came back . . ."   
  


"Yes, I came back."   
  


"Why?"   
  


"Because I love you."   
  


A strange feeling overwhelmed Quatre. Somewhere he knew that Trowa loved him, or at least hoped. But hearing him say it, it seemed to make all the things in the world seem wonderful, and like he was a new person.   
  


"I . . . I think I love you too Trowa."   
  


_But will you still love me after you know? I don't want to tell you . . . But . . . You need to know. . . _ "Trowa . . ."   
  


"Yes?"   
  


"Trowa, something happened to me. Something bad. I got captured on my last mission . . . and . . . and . . ." tears began to flow from Quatre's closed eyes as he bit his lip, trying to stop their flow.   
  


"You don't have to tell me now, Quatre."   
  


"Oh Trowa! Trowa he raped me! He *raped * me!" Quatre flung his body at Trowa, hugging his arms around Trowa's neck, starting to sob. "I didn't want to tell anyone because I knew you guys would hate me then!"   
  


"Oh Quatre . . ." Trowa began rubbing small circle on Quatre's back. "We could never hate you for that. Only lave you more, for being so strong. And I could never, never, never ever hate you Quatre, I love you far too much."   
  


" . . .. Thank you, Trowa . . . you don't know how much this means to me."   
  


_No, I probably don't. But you don't know what it means to me to have you back._   
  


The End 

1) Does that remind anyone else of titanic?   


Yay! What do you think? Good, bad? I liked it! It has a lot of angst, and a lot of sap! well, I think Quatre kinda changed from angst bitch queen to oh my god, no real fast, but her, whatever, right? 

forever01n02@hotmail.com 


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